On “biblical marriage” and brokenness and God’s unbreakable love for us: Sermon for Sunday 7 October 2018


Sermon for Sunday 7 October 2018

Lutheran Church of the Redeemer, Jerusalem

The Rev. Carrie Ballenger Smith


On “biblical marriage” and brokenness and God’s unbreakable love for us

Artwork by Redeemer member Adelaide



Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, 
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Amen.

When you hear this morning’s Gospel reading, how do you feel?

Do you feel grateful for a happy marriage?

Are you thinking of family members and loved ones who have divorced?

Are you thinking of your own marriage that has ended, or is ending?

Do you feel judged right now? Or anxious?

Maybe you’ve already checked out—your brain has turned off and a wall has gone up around your heart in anticipation of a certain kind of sermon. You may be expecting a word of judgment, a word of law, a word that reminds you of your failures—the kind of sermon many of us have heard so often before.

Dear siblings in Christ: In whatever way you received these words from Jesus this morning, I want to assure you this is not a sermon of judgment, and in fact I don’t believe this teaching from Jesus about marriage and divorce—as difficult as it is—is about judgment, either.

Jesus did not come that we would know guilt, and guilt abundant. Jesus came that we would have life, and life abundant (John 10:10)! He came that we would be reconciled to God, and to one another (2 Corinthians 5:18). The Messiah has come to bring good news to the poor, to proclaim release to the captives, to give sight to the blind, and to let the oppressed go free (Luke 4:18).  And therefore, because in the Protestant tradition we understand that Scripture interprets Scripture, as we reflect on these challenging words from Jesus this morning, I pray you will also hear words of liberation and release, good news and new life through them.

Now, with that being said, let’s jump right in and talk about “biblical marriage.”

In my home country, this phrase is thrown around often in political discussions about who can be married and (less often) about how and if people can be divorced. But the way this phrase is used, it’s as if folks imagine there existed some magical time in history when everyone married for true love, and all partnerships lasted forever in peace and harmony and happiness. We talk about “biblical marriage” as if relationships only got complicated with the advent of internet and television, and when women got the vote.

But in fact, one thing this passage from Mark’s Gospel reveals is that so-called “biblical marriage” seems to have been a lot like marriage today. In other words: it was hard!

We know that in Jesus’ time some people married out of love. But many others married out of necessity, or to form political or family alliances.

And we know that sometimes these unions didn’t last, because both the religious authorities and the disciples were eager to talk to Jesus about divorce.

So what does this mean?

I think it means people in Jesus’ time fell in and out of love, political and family alliances changed, and sometimes “biblical marriages” fell apart.

I think it means that sometimes promises and hearts were broken, and the religious authorities necessarily had a system to deal with that reality. 

As it is written:

Some Pharisees came, and to test [Jesus] they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.”

Notice that when the Pharisees approached Jesus, they wanted to test if he knew the rules for getting out of a marriage. But Jesus turns them away from that focus on an exit strategy, and instead talks about marriage itself. He reminds them that Moses’ cut and dried “just get a certificate of divorce” reflects our hard hearts, not God’s hope for human relationships.

And in the house a bit later, the disciples ask about the topic again. This time, Jesus says:

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

We know that the church has historically interpreted this passage to be a clear condemnation of remarriage after divorce. And sadly, this has caused great pain for those whose marriages have ended, and who find themselves having to choose between a new love relationship or a relationship with the church.

But something that is often missed is the way Jesus turns the question of “How can/should we get divorced?” upside down. I mean, it seems clear enough: Jesus says “a man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery” – but Jewish law held that only a woman was capable of committing adultery, never a man!

And Jesus also says, “if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” But Jewish law held that women had no right to divorce their husbands!

Both of these statements confound the law and turn it on its head. It isn’t that Jesus didn’t know the law. It’s that he was calling the disciples to a deeper understanding of human relationships. He’s turning their hearts away from thinking “what can I get away with” or “what is permissible” and towards God’s intentions for the world.

Those intentions, that hope, that vision, is what we call the Kingdom of God. It is the Kingdom in which we all have citizenship by our baptisms, and the Kingdom the baptized are called and empowered to help co-create on earth, as it is in heaven.

But of course, we know that we fail to live as perfect citizens of God’s Kingdom all the time. We fail as citizens, and our brokenness is revealed, 
whenever we go to war with our neighbors,
when we hoard resources so others go hungry or are homeless,
when we occupy someone else’s land,
or oppress someone on the basis of their gender, race, or sexuality,
when we lie,
when we cheat,
and yes, when promises are broken, and relationships entered in good faith must end. 

Broken marriages are just that—signs of our shared human brokenness.

Although it seems to get a lot of attention from Jesus in this Scripture text, and in society, (and of course, in the church), divorce is no more condemnable than any other way we fall short of the Kingdom of God. It is just one of many painful human experiences which prove that Christians are all simul justus et peccatur (at the same time, saint and sinner.)

I remember when a dear friend was going through a long and painful divorce, she struggled mightily with how it squared with her Christian faith. She would say to me, “We believe in resurrection, don’t we? So I keep waiting for this relationship to be resurrected.” But eventually, it became clear that God did desire resurrection and new life for both her and her former partner—it’s just that resurrection was waiting for her outside the tomb of an abusive marriage, not within it. She needed to trust that God’s life-giving power and love for her were not dependent on her staying in that situation.

And that is really what we learn through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, isn’t it? That our broken and wounded places are precisely the places of God’s active presence and power.

In Christ, God is always binding us up, healing us, making us whole.
Sometimes that looks like broken relationships being healed.
And sometimes it doesn’t.

There are times when we may wonder if, in our brokenness, we have also broken God’s love for us. We may wonder if, because of this (whatever “this” is), God can no longer love us.

But the Gospels reveal that when we fail to uphold our promises, when we make mistakes (even big ones), when we disappoint ourselves and others, even when we hurt others, we are still worthy of love. There’s nothing you can do, nothing you can fail at, nothing you can break (even a marriage) that puts you outside of that love.

In fact, the cross and the resurrection of Jesus are the sure signs that the worst person you know is worthy of love.
The worst person you know is a person Jesus died for—a good thing to remember when you feel that person may be yourself.

The last portion of today’s Gospel lesson may seem out of place, unrelated to Jesus’ teaching about marriage and divorce. However, as he did in the 9th chapter of Mark, Jesus again uses children to make his point clear to the disciples.

As it is written:

People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.”

It is tempting to read this from our context and imagine Jesus embracing adorable, well-dressed, clean children. Sunday School children, in many colors, representing innocence and joy and again, some vision of an earlier, easier time.

But let’s be clear: Children in Jesus’ time had no status, no value, no matching outfits, no Sunday School programs and no voice whatsoever. For this reason, the disciples shooed them away from Jesus, for why would he spend time with such insignificant creatures? The only thing that matters about the children in this reading is that they represent powerlessness. They are a nuisance. They are pointless.

And Jesus says,

Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.”

In other words: If rowdy and rejected children are welcomed, and blessed, and receive the gift of the Kingdom,
Then we do, too.
Whether we’ve succeeded or failed in love or marriage,
Whether we’ve succeeded or failed in our work,
Whether we’ve succeeded or failed in keeping promises or being faithful disciples,
Even so, we will receive the Kingdom.

In fact, Jesus says he wants us to receive the Kingdom in this way: as a child. We receive it as ones with no accomplishments, with nothing to offer, nothing to be proud of. On our worst days, we are welcomed and embraced by Jesus. Still, we receive his love and attention. Still, we receive the extravagant gift of God’s Kingdom of love, wholeness, peace, justice, and reconciliation.

Today, as we do every Sunday, we will practice receiving that free gift of grace and love, wholeness and forgiveness, when we come forward with open hands and hearts for communion. Jesus, our friend and brother, invites us to receive it as children:

With dirty hands and imperfect behavior.
With hunger and thirst for belonging and acceptance.
With joy and with curiosity.

So come, all of you, and receive the gift! Then go out with renewed energy to follow the One who mends our broken places and softens our hard hearts, the One who is always reforming our lives and relationships to resemble His.

May the peace of God which passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Amen.




Comments