On “biblical marriage” and brokenness and God’s unbreakable love for us: Sermon for Sunday 7 October 2018
Sermon for Sunday 7 October 2018
Lutheran Church of the Redeemer,
Jerusalem
The Rev. Carrie Ballenger Smith
On “biblical marriage” and brokenness and God’s unbreakable love for us
Artwork by Redeemer member Adelaide
Let the words of my mouth and the
meditation of my heart be acceptable to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Amen.
When you
hear this morning’s Gospel reading, how do you feel?
Do you feel grateful
for a happy marriage?
Are you
thinking of family members and loved ones who have divorced?
Are you
thinking of your own marriage that has ended, or is ending?
Do you feel
judged right now? Or anxious?
Maybe you’ve
already checked out—your brain has turned off and a wall has gone up around
your heart in anticipation of a certain kind of sermon. You may be
expecting a word of judgment, a word of law, a word that reminds you of your
failures—the kind of sermon many of us have heard so often before.
Dear
siblings in Christ: In whatever way you received these words from Jesus this
morning, I want to assure you this is not a sermon of judgment, and in fact I
don’t believe this teaching from Jesus about marriage and divorce—as difficult
as it is—is about judgment, either.
Jesus did
not come that we would know guilt, and guilt abundant. Jesus came that we would
have life, and life abundant (John 10:10)! He came that we would be reconciled
to God, and to one another (2 Corinthians 5:18). The Messiah has come to bring
good news to the poor, to proclaim release to the captives, to give sight to
the blind, and to let the oppressed go free (Luke 4:18). And therefore, because in the Protestant
tradition we understand that Scripture interprets Scripture, as we reflect on
these challenging words from Jesus this morning, I pray you will also hear
words of liberation and release, good news and new life through them.
Now, with
that being said, let’s jump right in and talk about “biblical marriage.”
In my home
country, this phrase is thrown around often in political discussions about who
can be married and (less often) about how and if people can be divorced. But the
way this phrase is used, it’s as if folks imagine there existed some magical
time in history when everyone married for true love, and all partnerships lasted
forever in peace and harmony and happiness. We talk about “biblical marriage”
as if relationships only got complicated with the advent of internet and
television, and when women got the vote.
But in fact,
one thing this passage from Mark’s Gospel reveals is that so-called “biblical
marriage” seems to have been a lot like marriage today. In other words: it was
hard!
We know that
in Jesus’ time some people married out of love. But many others married out of
necessity, or to form political or family alliances.
And we know that
sometimes these unions didn’t last, because both the religious authorities and
the disciples were eager to talk to Jesus about divorce.
So what does
this mean?
I think it
means people in Jesus’ time fell in and out of love, political and family alliances
changed, and sometimes “biblical marriages” fell apart.
I think it
means that sometimes promises and hearts were broken, and the religious
authorities necessarily had a system to deal with that reality.
As it is
written:
Some
Pharisees came, and to test [Jesus] they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said,
“Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.”
Notice that
when the Pharisees approached Jesus, they wanted to test if he knew the rules
for getting out of a marriage. But Jesus turns them away from that focus
on an exit strategy, and instead talks about marriage itself. He reminds them
that Moses’ cut and dried “just get a certificate of divorce” reflects our hard
hearts, not God’s hope for human relationships.
And in the
house a bit later, the disciples ask about the topic again. This time, Jesus says:
“Whoever
divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she
divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
We know that
the church has historically interpreted this passage to be a clear condemnation
of remarriage after divorce. And sadly, this has caused great pain for those
whose marriages have ended, and who find themselves having to choose between a
new love relationship or a relationship with the church.
But
something that is often missed is the way Jesus turns the question of “How can/should
we get divorced?” upside down. I mean, it seems clear enough: Jesus says “a man
who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery” – but Jewish law
held that only a woman was capable of committing adultery, never a man!
And Jesus
also says, “if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits
adultery.” But Jewish law held that women had no right to divorce their
husbands!
Both of
these statements confound the law and turn it on its head. It isn’t that Jesus
didn’t know the law. It’s that he was calling the disciples to a deeper
understanding of human relationships. He’s turning their hearts away from
thinking “what can I get away with” or “what is permissible” and towards God’s
intentions for the world.
Those
intentions, that hope, that vision, is what we call the Kingdom of God. It is the
Kingdom in which we all have citizenship by our baptisms, and the Kingdom the
baptized are called and empowered to help co-create on earth, as it is in
heaven.
But of
course, we know that we fail to live as perfect citizens of God’s Kingdom all
the time. We fail as citizens, and our brokenness is revealed,
whenever we go
to war with our neighbors,
when we
hoard resources so others go hungry or are homeless,
when we occupy
someone else’s land,
or oppress someone on the basis of their gender, race, or
sexuality,
when we lie,
when we
cheat,
and yes,
when promises are broken, and relationships entered in good faith must end.
Broken
marriages are just that—signs of our shared human brokenness.
Although it seems
to get a lot of attention from Jesus in this Scripture text, and in society, (and
of course, in the church), divorce is
no more condemnable than any other way we fall short of the Kingdom of
God. It is just one of many painful human experiences which prove that Christians
are all simul justus et peccatur (at the same time, saint and sinner.)
I remember
when a dear friend was going through a long and painful divorce, she struggled
mightily with how it squared with her Christian faith. She would say to me, “We
believe in resurrection, don’t we? So I keep waiting for this relationship to
be resurrected.” But eventually, it became clear that God did desire
resurrection and new life for both her and her former partner—it’s just that resurrection
was waiting for her outside the tomb of an abusive marriage, not within it. She
needed to trust that God’s life-giving power and love for her were not
dependent on her staying in that situation.
And that is really
what we learn through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, isn’t it? That our broken and
wounded places are precisely the places of God’s active presence and power.
In Christ,
God is always binding us up, healing us, making us whole.
Sometimes
that looks like broken relationships being healed.
And
sometimes it doesn’t.
There are
times when we may wonder if, in our brokenness, we have also broken God’s love
for us. We may wonder if, because of this (whatever “this” is), God can no
longer love us.
But the
Gospels reveal that when we fail to uphold our promises, when we make mistakes
(even big ones), when we disappoint ourselves and others, even when we hurt
others, we are still worthy of love. There’s nothing you can do, nothing you
can fail at, nothing you can break (even a marriage) that puts you outside of
that love.
In fact, the
cross and the resurrection of Jesus are the sure signs that the worst person
you know is worthy of love.
The worst
person you know is a person Jesus died for—a good thing to remember when you
feel that person may be yourself.
The last
portion of today’s Gospel lesson may seem out of place, unrelated to Jesus’
teaching about marriage and divorce. However, as he did in the 9th
chapter of Mark, Jesus again uses children to make his point clear to the
disciples.
As it is
written:
People
were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the
disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and
said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is
to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.”
It is
tempting to read this from our context and imagine Jesus embracing adorable,
well-dressed, clean children. Sunday School children, in many colors,
representing innocence and joy and again, some vision of an earlier, easier
time.
But let’s be
clear: Children in Jesus’ time had no status, no value, no matching outfits, no
Sunday School programs and no voice whatsoever. For this reason, the disciples
shooed them away from Jesus, for why would he spend time with such
insignificant creatures? The only thing that matters about the children in this
reading is that they represent powerlessness. They are a nuisance. They are
pointless.
And Jesus
says,
Truly I
tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will
never enter it.” And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and
blessed them.”
In other
words: If rowdy and rejected children are welcomed, and blessed, and receive
the gift of the Kingdom,
Then we do,
too.
Whether we’ve
succeeded or failed in love or marriage,
Whether
we’ve succeeded or failed in our work,
Whether
we’ve succeeded or failed in keeping promises or being faithful disciples,
Even so, we
will receive the Kingdom.
In fact, Jesus
says he wants us to receive the Kingdom in this way: as a child. We receive it as
ones with no accomplishments, with nothing to offer, nothing to be proud of. On
our worst days, we are welcomed and embraced by Jesus. Still, we receive his
love and attention. Still, we receive the extravagant gift of God’s Kingdom of
love, wholeness, peace, justice, and reconciliation.
Today, as we
do every Sunday, we will practice receiving that free gift of grace and love,
wholeness and forgiveness, when we come forward with open hands and hearts for
communion. Jesus, our friend and brother, invites us to receive it as children:
With dirty
hands and imperfect behavior.
With hunger
and thirst for belonging and acceptance.
With joy and
with curiosity.
So come, all
of you, and receive the gift! Then go out with renewed energy to follow the One
who mends our broken places and softens our hard hearts, the One who is always
reforming our lives and relationships to resemble His.
May the
peace of God which passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds in
Christ Jesus. Amen.
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