Rainbow sashes and hearts that will not be lost

 

Sermon for 16 October 2022

University Lutheran Church, Cambridge

The Rev. Carrie Ballenger

Genesis 32:22-31; Luke18:1-8

 


Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord, my strength and my redeemer. Amen.

 One afternoon at Jerusalem’s Notre Dame hotel café I noticed a man at the next table giving me an odd look. Between sips of coffee, he kept glancing over at my table, and while that may have felt a bit creepy, I brushed it off because it was almost a sport for folks to stare at a woman dressed as a priest in the Holy City.

But when I returned home later, I saw I had a new text message. It was from that man who had been eyeing me at the café. His name was Michael and he had found me, he said, through just one mutual social media friend. His message said something like, “Please excuse this unexpected message—and I promise I’m not a creep.” (Well, that always settles it, I though! If you say it, it must be true!)

 In any case, I agreed to meet Michael for lunch at a familiar public place (in case he really was a creep). I’m so glad I did.

 Over salads and wine, I learned Michael Bernard Kelly was an Australian of Irish Catholic descent. He had written several books on spirituality and was in Jerusalem to participate in a theological seminar. I learned he was a deeply faithful Christian, and that he was very, very gay.

 Michael told me of joining the Franciscans after high school, and then of moving to the US to teach religion at a Catholic school in California. He had been in the closet at the time, knowing that if he came out as gay he could have lost his job, which he dearly loved. He told me how he and a small group of friends arranged anonymous supper clubs, where men who could not be publicly out could meet for a meal and friendly support from other gay men, trusting they would not be known or outed by anyone present.

 When Michael eventually came out in 1993, he lost his job at the Catholic school. He left the US to return to Australia, but he never left the church. In fact, he became part of a revolution from within the church. Michael and a few others founded what became known as the “Rainbow Sash” movement. Large groups of gay Catholics (and often their families) would show up for Sunday mass in churches where gay people were routinely denied the sacraments. When it was time for communion, they would all put colorful rainbow sashes across their shoulders, resembling a priest’s stole. As they approached the altar to receive the bread and the wine, they would nearly always be refused. So, when they returned to their pews, unfed, they would remain standing while the other worshippers—who had all been fed—were kneeling in prayer.

 These simple acts of nonviolent religious resistance continued for years and gained much notoriety in Australia. It became an international movement within the Catholic church in 2000, with Michael Bernard Kelly as its spokesperson. Once I asked him, “But why, Michael? Why would you stay and wrestle with the Catholic church, after all that they put you and others through?” And he answered me: “Well, God wouldn’t let me go. And I couldn’t let the church go.”

 My friend Michael’s story has been on my mind and heart this week as we celebrated National Coming Out Day on Tuesday, but also as I have been contemplating this day’s appointed Scripture texts. Our first reading from the 32nd chapter of Genesis is the story of Jacob, who wrestled with God—or an angel, or himself, depending on who you ask.

 The story goes like this:

 Jacob—who had tricked his twin brother Esau out of his birthright and their father’s blessing and was therefore fleeing from Canaan—sent his wives and children and everything he owned across the ford at the Jabbok. Jacob is alone and stripped of everything dear to him, when suddenly a man appears out of the darkness and “wrestles with him until daybreak”. Jacob puts up a good fight and seems to prevail against the stranger, but then the man reaches out and touches his hip, knocking it out of its socket. In an instant, Jacob is helpless and in pain. Even in his pain, he says to the figure with whom he had fought, “I will not let you go until you bless me.”

After he is blessed, his opponent changes Jacob’sto Israel, which means “the one who wrestles with God.” Jacob then does a bit of his own naming, calling the place where this encounter happened “Peniel” which means “Face of God”, because Jacob said, “for I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.”

 Please note that Jacob survived his encounter with the unnamed figure, but he was never the same. Scripture tells us he limped way because of that out-of-joint hip. Quite literally, the way Jacob walked in the world was never again the same.

 How many of you know what it’s like to live through something that changes you forever? Whether it’s becoming a parent, or dealing with cancer, or going through divorce, or battling depression, or leaving home, or losing a loved one, we never come out the other side the same. In fact, we may wonder if others can see how the way we walk and talk and move is different now, no matter how hard we try to hide it. Like Jacob, when we see the face of God, when we encounter our innermost selves, when we have by choice or by circumstance grappled with the deepest questions of existence or identity or eternity…we will always carry that experience in our bodies and on our person.

 The great spiritual writer Elie Wiesel had this to say about Jacob’s encounter with the unnamed one:

 “Jacob has just understood a fundamental truth: God is in man, even in suffering, even in misfortune, even in evil. God is everywhere. In every being. God does not wait for man at the end of the road, the termination of exile; He accompanies him there. More than that: He is the road. He is the exile. God holds both ends of the rope. He is present in every extremity. He is every limit. He is part of Jacob as He is part of Esau.”

 Friends, so many of us are encouraged to pray and learn and study and go on retreats and embark on pilgrimages or approach cancer as a spiritual test because we are told this is the way to find God. In other words, we are told to approach hardship or struggle as a means to an end, and that end is having an answer, or having closure, or knowing ourselves, or discovering a God who is somehow leading us on a never-ending hide-and-seek quest.

 But Wiesel proposes that God is not at the end of the journey. He says no: God is the road. God is the exile. God is both at the beginning and at the end of the rope—perhaps especially when we are at the end of our rope.

What this means to me is that when I am struggling, wrestling, wondering, worrying—like Jacob, who had lost everything and felt all alone at the water’s edge—I am not actually alone. God is with me in the struggle. Dear people, God is in the mud with us, on our worst days, even when we are our worst selves. Furthermore, God stays, and wrestles alongside us. God stays through the night. God stays with Jacob, and with us, until daybreak. And when we walk away, when we rest in ourselves, when we open the closet door and walk through, we are never the same. Thanks be to God, we are never the same.

 Now, come with me as we pivot to the Gospel lesson for this day. Remember that we heard Jesus speaking to the disciples during their time of struggle. The 18th chapter of the Gospel according to John begins with these words:

 “Then Jesus told them a parable about their need to pray always and not to lose heart.”

 Jesus had just been teaching his followers about the end of the world, and of the trials to come, and how they needed to be strong and brave and to follow obediently. And the disciples assessed the situation and apparently were thinking: “Really, Jesus? Why? Why should we follow? If the end is near, what are we even doing here? What does it matter?”

 

So Jesus tells them a story about an unjust judge who grants a persistent widow’s request mostly because he was tired of hearing her complaints.

 Therefore, says Jesus, you should pray and not lose heart.

 Once I was at a Christian bookstore in Chicago, and I saw a hat that bore large red letters spelling P U S H. Underneath were tinier letters that showed these stood for “Pray Until Something Happens”. Is this the kind of God Jesus was talking about in his parable? Do we serve a God who needs us to flood heaven with prayers, and if our prayers gets enough “likes” then God will grant our wishes?

 I think not. Rather, it seems Jesus’ parable is meant to illustrate that if even an unjust judge will respond to persistence, then how much greater is the response of the God of all things, the one who created the world out of love! How much greater is the God who came among us as a little child, and walks with us in our struggles, all the way to the cross! The God we serve is not a puzzle to be solved or a prize to be won or an unjust judge to be convinced. God, as Elie Wiesel reminds us, is at both ends of the rope. God is with us at the water’s edge. God is already, right now, hearing our prayers and responding.

 

As one who once struggled and wrestled with both God and the church in my own coming out, I hear in these words the possibility that God is not only on the other side of the closet. God is also in the closet. Maybe, as Wiesel hints, God is the closet, and if we must be there for any reason, if we must stay safe for any length of time, then the walls of that closet are God’s loving arms, holding us until it’s time.

 And Jesus says: Therefore, pray. And do not lose heart.

 Do not give up the fight. Do not lose your courage. Do not give up on kindness.

Keep wrestling: with those pesky cancer cells, with the lies your depression tells you, with your own personal demons, with the powers and principalities that seek to define who you are, or who the church is, or who God is. Keep agitating for a better world for all. As I once saw spray-painted on the separation wall between Bethlehem and Jerusalem: Remain human.

 Just before the COVID, in January of 2020, my friend Michael was diagnosed with an advanced and fast-moving colon cancer. While the world was shutting down because of the pandemic, Michael hunkered down in a friend’s cabin by the sea and started on some experimental drugs. He kept close friends updated through occasional emails. One of the last emails I received from Michael before he died said this:

 So, life continues on in its amazing, unpredictable, painful and graced way. I seek to be present and open, without resistance or lamentation - but then again I am only human. The last mass I attended in New York was in St Patrick’s Cathedral. It was the feast of the Baptism of Jesus. The priest reflected that there, in the Jordan Valley just north of the Dead Sea, Jesus was standing at the lowest point above sea level. He then entered the waters and went lower still, entering the utter depths of human experience. I have always loved this feast for this reason - Jesus fully and vulnerably enters into every aspect of our human condition. In my own way, I seek to walk with him.

 To the end, my unexpected friend Michael never gave up on God. He never gave up on the church he loved, either. He never lost heart.

 Dear ones, if you are wrestling with God today,

Or wrestling with life, or grief, or worry,

Hear again the Good News:

Through Jesus, crucified and risen, we have come to know the goodness of God,

The One who created us in all our diverse beauty

The One who stays with us

And wrestles alongside us

Through our struggles

Through our doubts

Through the night

Until daybreak.

Until we are out.

Until we are free.

Dear ones: If you can’t pray today, I will pray for you. 

I will pray with you.

And together, we will not lose heart.

 Let the peace of God which passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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